What Exactly Are You Trying to Tell Me?

So I took the Praxis Art Content Knowledge test on Saturday. It was really hard. I had a difficult time studying the few days before and I didn't really feel prepared. I checked my horoscope on a whim to see if it would have any words of encouragement before I left. This is what is said:

Answers won't come easy today, but then again, the right ones never do. Be patient.

I did not find that encouraging. While waiting for the test to start, I talked to the other two people taking that particular test. Apparently there is a whole other half that I neglected to sign up for. I remember looking at that test and thinking, "That's weird I wouldn't have to take an Art Making test. Why wouldn't I need to show my portfolio?" Turns out I do need to show my portfolio. This test also includes some essay work. I'm pretty upset and nervous about getting a job in time since I now won't be able to get my certificate of eligibility to apply for jobs until July.

Thinking about the timing of everything has gotten me thinking about my career even more. I really think I would like being an art teacher. I've always felt like art allows people to express themselves in a way that other media do not allow. I also think that it can encourage kids and make them think about subjects they might otherwise ignore. I was not terribly concerned about the environment until one of my graphic design teachers called attention to it and made us do research and a project about global warming. BTW, if any of you want my recycled Christmas wrapping paper with Victorian ice skaters on ice drifts let me know ;) I think if I was not involved in the art program in high school I never would have the small amount of peace that I did find at that time.

All that being said, I also don't really think I'm a "career" person. I have so many things I want to do and I really don't see any reason why I can't do all of them. "Career" really is an American idea. Even if I did hear that from Enrique Iglesias during his three episode arc on How I Met Your Mother. I guess buying into that is a sign of my immaturity, but I don't really care. I want to go to other countries and volunteer, I want to teach Art, I want to be a fantastic Graphic Designer one day, and I want to keep learning.

When I was studying the other night I was reading about Leonardo Da Vinci. I really love him and everything he was about. I also really like how in movies, like Ever After I think it was, he's always shown as being a really cooky weirdo. Anyway in my book it said that he is known for great conceptual thinking, but not necessarily as well known for his follow through. I don't mean to compare myself to such a genius, but I think I am a lot like that on a smaller scale. I come up with great ideas, but don't always know how to go about them. I wish I had thought to defend myself that way a couple Christmases ago. I kept talking about how great my gingerbread house was going to be and I made it into a diorama and then about half way through I got bored and wanted to stop. Mom said it was indicative of my college career. That really pissed me off and hurt my feelings. Just thought I would share.

You know what? I don't really care that much what people are trying to tell me. I have these goals and I don't want to fully commit myself to any one thing for 30+ years of my life. Maybe that makes me flaky and immature and idealistic. I think maybe that's just me at the end of the day.